It doesn’t mean it’s the end.

Days have passed so fast and now, 2013 is next to the count. Remembering what God did in my life last 2012 was really a blast. I proudly say that I received too much of what I have expected from Him. Once again, God proved that He is powerful and faithful with His promises. Totoo ang Panginoon. Kaya please, MANIWALA ka. Mahal ka Nya!

2012 for me is the year of God’s proving love each day. This is actually the year when I experienced more of God as I walk with Him. I feel His love even more. Day by day, God is always there to remind me that He is always with me and He is in control of everything and so, the only thing I should do is to give my 100% trust. This year, I received several breakthroughs from Him (OMG, I don’t want to cry but it feels like I will).

That time when I asked God “what is this for?” and even say, “Lord, I don’t understand what you want me to do”, are also some things to be remembered for my 2012. I can now see the picture of those puzzle parts that God showed me during the times that I don’t know what to do. I can now connect things accordingly. Ang nasabi ko na lang, “Kaya pala Lord, totoo nga, sa tamang ORAS at sa Iyong Paraan, maiintindihan ko din ang mga bagay bagay”.

Let me share you 12 things about my 2012.

2012 nang…

1. Napatunayan kong hindi talaga ako pinapabayaan ni God 100%. Hindi Sya yung God na parang ako na kung minsan ay nagiging selfish sa attention at oras ko para sa iba. Kapag may exam ako, kabadong kabado ako palagi kasi baka bumagsak ako, natatakot at nag-aalala ako palagi, pero ano pang sasabihin sakin ni God… “Don’t worry, kasama mo ko sa mga EXAM na yan. Hindi ka nag-iisa at mag-iisa”. TIWALA LANG.

2. Maintindihan kong may tamang panahon para sa bawat bagay. Hindi komo’t nanjan na, sunggab na kaagad ang peg. Yan talaga yung sobrang napapa-wow talaga ako sa working hands ni God na alam mo ng bibigay ka na, pero mafifeel mo nalang may tutulak sa iyo pabalik sa tamang landas. TIWALA LANG.

3. Ipaintindi sakin ni God na hindi rason ang “nahihirapan na ko” para mag give up. Na-feel ko yung parang sinasabi sayo na konting kembot na lang ayan na. God will strengthen us. TIWALA LANG.

4. Nafeel ko yung todo bigay at linaw na “calling” ni God saakin na mag disciple pa ng madaming tao. Yung tipong ayaw mo kasi natatakot ka pero sasabihin Nya lang sayo, “:Do not fear any BUT me”. Basta say ni Lord, gora lang. TIWALA LANG.

5. Iparealize saakin ni God na walang bagay ang hindi nya kayang gawin. Kung feeling mo walang pag-asa sa situation mo, well hindi. TOTOO. Kasi when you’re with God, package deal na eh. Kahit hindi ka maganda, mayaman, matalino, o ano pa man… basta kasama mo si God at naniniwala ka sa power nya, magiging maganda, mayaman, matalino o ano pa man ka sa mata ng ibang tao (positive syempre). TIWALA LANG.

6. Naging malinaw na sa wakas sa akin ang mga bagay bagay. TIWALA LANG.

7. Naka-experience ako ng sobrang test of FAITH. As in. Temptations are always there pero thank God, He gave me the wisdom and power to resist those. TIWALA LANG.

8. Naka-experience din ako ng sobrang sobrang sobrang TEST ng haba ng PASENSYA, mapasa-kristyano o sa hindi. Mabuti na lang, winork na talaga saakin ni God yung area na yan ng life ko kaya kada malulungkot ako dahil sa isang problema, sasabihin nalang saakin ni God na “Pagpasensyahan mo na”. TIWALA LANG.

9. I-prove sakin ni God na kahit mag-fail ako sa isang bagay, tutulungan niya kong i-try ulit yung bagay na yun hanggang sa magawa ko na. TIWALA LANG.

10. I-prove ni God ng bonggang bongga na kaya nyang mag-provide ng kahit ano esp. finances higit pa sa inask ko. OO. TOTOO TALAGA. TIWALA LANG.

11.  Inakala kong wala ng pag-asa dun sa isang prayer request ko kay God. Akala ko hindi talaga para saakin yun, na halos dumating na ako sa point na malapit nang mag-give up at iend ang mga bagay bagay. Nawalan na kasi ako ng lakas, yung feeling na akala mo wala ng pake lahat saiyo yung mga tao, wala ng nakakaintindi o ano pa man… Ang magagawa mo na lang kung hindi ka kristiyano ay UMIYAK at humagulgol sa isang sulok… Pero hindi, on God’s perfect timing and way, masasabi mo nalang: IBA KA LORD, PABITAW NA KO EH! TIWALA LANG.

12. Ipinaintindi saakin ni God na hindi pa sya tapos saakin so I don’t have the rights to END UP things kasi after all, SIYA yung NAG-START ng mga bagay bagay. He is the beginning and the end, ika nga. ANG KAILANGAN KO LANG GAWIN AY MAGTIWALA PA LALO SA KANYA. Bakit? Kasi MAHAL nya ko, at ang tunay na nagmamahal para saakin ay yung hindi ka itutulak sa kapahamakan kundi sa kabutihan (Lalim nun).

 Knowing these 12 points do not actually mean I will forget them but for me to be equipped for the upcoming 2013 blast. Katulad nga nung nabanggit sa isang service sa church, binigay ni God tong mga bagay na ito, tong mga proof na ito na nagwowork talaga siya para may ipakita ako sa iba na TOTOO ang Panginoon.

It’s in Joshua 4: 1-9, 21-24, when God instructed the Israelites to cross the Jordan River and get stones there to be a living proof na they had crossed the river through God’s power. Bakit? Bakit kailangang may proof pa si God? So that we will be confident enough with God’s abilty.

Yes, 2012 will end now but it doesn’t mean mag-eend na lahat ng memories na ibinigay nung taon. Hindi. It’s still the year na pwede nating balikan para ma-remind tayo as we look forward sa 2013 na dadating saatin. Let’s not make 2012 a waste but a reminder on every trials we would face in 2013.

My number 1 wish for 2013? Walang magbago in negative way kundi puro improvements/development pa till it’s time to harvest the blessings.

SO wag ka nang mag-alala. Kasama mo si Lord. Hindi ka nya pababayaan. Kung IKAW tapos na. SIYA hindi PA. Sorry ka nalang. TIWALA LANG.

I hope and pray that this blog inspired you! Enjoy the New year with God’s love and greatness! To God be the glory.

                                

Reminiscing last December

I can still remember the best of all my December days last 2011. It was actually the day when I joined the second Upsilon One Act play at the University of the Philippines Los Banos. It was one of the good experiences in my life. Let me share those “behind the bush” stories of how I became part of the contest.

                As I was waiting on the lobby of one building in the university, a certain ad on the bulletin board caught my attention. It says that there would be a script writing competition for one act play. I was then worried if I shall try or not. One of my reasons of why I should not pass is that, the deadline of the submission would be the next day after tomorrow. Luckily, I was then talking with my friend on the phone and he pushed me to try for just once. And then I actually did.

               

                The mechanics of the contest was interested writers will pass their script and board of judges would examine it and tell whether he/she passed the initial screening. Five will only be chosen. I just prayed and offered everything to God. It was really God who worked it all out. I became part of the five passers. The next thing that the contest coordinators said was for us to choose an organization who will act our own script. Thank God I have my friend Ella who is a member of Umalohokan Inc. which staged my script.

Everything was all new with me. It was my first time to be part of a writing contest. I was then pressured so much for I was the youngest of the entire contestant that time. However, I did not lose hope. I remembered the word of God where He said that I should be strong and courageous and I should not be afraid and even be discouraged for He is with me wherever I go (Joshua 1:9). To God be the glory!

                My script is entitled, “Isko. Iska. Bakit ba?”. It is a story of different people that were connected through the issues in their university and even personal lives. It is basically the stories of each Iskolar ng Bayan. These issues include financial, health, academics and even lovelife of the students in UP.

Some people ask what is or are my inspiration/s on writing the script. Well, it is just the things that happen in my life. I live life and love God everyday. The same with the experiences of my characters in the story, I also experience issues in life. However, these issues do not bring me down but encourage me to move forward and be strong for tomorrow. I just make a habit of letting God to be in charge of the things I will make and even made. 

 

And the rest was all history. I do not know what happened but my name was called in front of several known people (directors, writers, UP faculties, judges, contestants, students and parents). I won the victory! I stepped out with faith, claim my trophy and somehow showed little tears from my eyes. If you would ask, that time (awarding), I was not expecting of winning the title. I humbly accepted it already that I was just a beginner and they deserve it all. Also, during that time, my family had experienced a certain problem that really tested my faith. It was before the awarding night that I had received a call from my mother that the problem was already fixed and so, I should not worry anymore. Receiving that call was my big answer prayer that day. I just said to myself, “I don’t care if I won or not, all that matters is that, my family is already okay. It’s the greatest and biggest blessing for the night.”

               

                But God is faithful enough with His word. I still won. I cannot help myself but to accept it though I don’t deserve it. I just found myself remembering the cross where God showed his love and faithfulness for undeserved people like me.

                And where am I now? I am here, enjoying the talent he has given to me - Enjoying the things that I do not really deserve. I proudly say that I am loved and blessed after accepting Christ in my life. Those achievements I have received in life were all from Him. I am already the born again Janica. The old has gone, the new has come. Everything I do is all God’s work in my life. Ask, Pray and Claim! He is FAITHFUL.

The best decision.

                     Upon my walk on believing God, there are revelations in my life that thirst for actions. With this short note, I want to be honest not just to you, to myself but also to God. The things written in here might not be visible in me (if you know me), but everything will be honestly spoken to you. I know it is His will that I should share a part of my testimony in life here.

                Everyone longs to be loved and feel special. As humans, we want things that will satisfy our pleasures. I, on behalf of this human world, was one of those people who longs for those pleasures. I want to be loved and treated as special. I don’t want to mention a name but I actually had a close friend whom treated me those. I feel loved and special with his surprises and encouragements. I admitted to myself that eventually, I fell in love with this person. I was happy being with him, talking about things that are similar on us.. everything. I feel loved and special. Well, he is actually that type of man who will show how he cares and respects women. I feel blessed to be one of those people whom he made close with. There were times when he forgot things and promises but those were all right. For me, I should not focus on mistakes but how to ponder the friendship we have. I was the one who was happy after all. I almost forget God. And then God interrupted. I consider this “interruption” as a blessing from heaven and not a burden on heart that will cause me to rebel against His holy name. I know God speaks to me saying that I should have self control over these worldly pleasures I long for. Why? because He is the only one who can sustain love and specialty I am aiming for a long time.

               

                I always pray for that person, even fast for an answer. I want him but I want God more than him. So I said to myself, if the feeling is from God, then I am claiming it, but if it is not, please take it away for I want my life to be a model of worship to God. I don’t understand God with the things He have shown in my life this past few days but I know, I believe that He is busy working on me now.

                I don’t want to explain further of those things that hurt me but there is this one thing I realized after, “don’t give up on God’s promises but be strong, and courageous, trusting Him with all your life and most of all.. Choose Him above all things. If he says stop, then don’t hesitate to stop and trust Him. If he says wait, then patiently wait. If he says Go, then go not by your own but with Him.” It’s hard to say goodbye for someone you have loved and given time but how much more if you would lose SOMEONE who sacrificed His life for the sake of His overflowing love for you? If God says so, then He’ll surely do it at its time. He will never delay.

                Are you asking for the best decision in life? Well, for me, IT IS TO LIVE FOR GOD AND NOT FOR YOURSELF. Be like Him, see to it that people would see Him on you. Make God as your first and forever love. I am assuring you, He will not leave you for His grace is sufficient and His love is overflowing. Love Him more. If you are afraid to lose someone because of God, well don’t be. I have said it before but trusted God and I am here now, encouraging people to not be afraid. God is with you all the time, during your happiness, loneliness and struggles. If that person you are asking from God cannot wait for you, you don’t deserve him/her. If he/she does not understand that you love God more than him/her, then end the discussion for you deserve someone who love God more than you and understand things why things should happen like that. We are God’s princes and princesses. Let’s look for someone of whom we would see Jesus. That’s what we deserve. Think of this: Jesus did not die on the cross for you to receive small and none sense blessings but to have unexplainable and super awesome one. He died for you to receive more and the best. So don’t waste it. It’s a gift from heaven. Love God and live life.

                To end this up, I know, that person I have loved would surely understand my decision. We both love God more than anyone else. I will not end our friendship but invest more on it. It is a blessing from heaven. I know God is in control. His time is perfect than anyone else. We might not understand God today, but I know, someday we will.  I will always be here, just like others with their friends, willing to laugh, cry, listen and speak on his life. If he has the same feeling I had before, I am claiming from God that He will not leave this man I’ve ever dreamed; Guide him on his walk on faith; teach him on how to obey and to patiently wait; and to surround him with people who will increase his faith and desire on God. Upon waiting on God, He is building our character.  I love him, but I love God more.