Glimpse of Yesterday.

Looking back on the pictures we’ve had, I just found myself missing my dear friend so much. I thought that that part of my life is over… until I saw the pictures again. I suddenly felt the loneliness I face each time when I am alone.

Let me tell our story.

First sem. Hmm. Who’s the guy who sang in our class? Strong huh.

This friend of mine used to be my classmate during my first semester in UP. We’re not actually close that time. I have my friends who happened to be his friends too. Cool. We have mutual friends. That’s all. We’ve shared names and then talked about stuff. (He always says that that happened July 14, 2010. Ugh. Whatever.) He is just my simple blockmate, classmate, schoolmate. . . . ?

Until . . .

I invited him in our church, VCF. I found out that he is also a Christian. Good thing, I can now speak to him :) (He is the suplado type kasi for me before. Well, just my first impression. And I am wrong. :D )

Then it is now history. We’ve exchange numbers. Go out with our friends, study, attend church, eat together and so on. We did “friendly” things together with our barkada :D. (Oh nooo. I miss those days again :) I wanna stop typing, I barely cry =(((( )

Blockmate, classmate, schoolmate, ‘churchmate’, ‘asaranmate’, friend.

Time goes by and sembreak is now here. The barkada decided to have some treats for ourselves. He offered his house in batangas. Great thing :D . We had our batangas break, sadly not all of our barkada where there that time.

All I can say is that, this semester was really the foundation of our friendships. Many things happened. Tears for the joy, tears for the hurt, tears for everything. God did not let the relationships to be broken by those trials. Instead, He used it to strengthen us in our weaknesses and of course, to reveal His sovereign power on each of us. Thank God for having this barkada and of course, to this “Hot” man (as what he always say. -__-) Thank you for this semester.

Second sem. :) And now, who’s this guy who got 1.25 in SOSC * . (Hihi. Forgive me for this XD )

This was actually my most memorable semester. My favorite sem. The sem that I always miss. The sem that. . . honestly, has already occupied big part of my heart, mind and life. Second sem. Ugh.

Back to our story, this sem was actually the sem that our friendship got stronger. We were classmates on two subjects, different to our barkada friends. We also had the same time of breaks making us see each other often than others. :> I enjoy being with him. Thanking God that I have this friend of mine who pushes me towards God everytime. He is someone that is the “maarte” type of guy – but not all. (SORRY XD I’ll repent after posting it. Hehe) 

He is also that friend who’s willing to be with you when you’re happy, sad, lonely, corny, bitter-ly, broken-ly, and so on –lys. He is the “etc. actors” (I don’t want to put 5 in 1 kasi laging nadadagdagan.) He is actually the man who doesn’t know how to get mad. Well, all I can say is that, he’s the best guy I have ever known though there is still part of him that is imperfect. J He is different.

Of course, problems were still there. There were times na nagkakatampuhan kami. Thank God there were just small things. That friend of mine? I can say that he is the humble type of person (pero hindi most of the time :P haha). When I have faults, he is the one who’ll make things alright. That’s what I actually miss on him. 

He doesn’t want the days to pass without fixing any hurts on his friends’ heart. Really a son of God.

I learned several things from him. Things that I actually treasure. That’s why after hearing that he is going to shift to other UP unit, I cried. I know it is wrong to depend on someone because it is to God whom we should depend on. But nasanay na ko to be with him and now, I’m longing for it. I’m longing for a friend whom I depended on. A friend who understands me. A friend who is always there each time I laugh and cry.

I asked God why all these things need to happen. I just got the answer, -so I could learn to find my strength on Him alone. It’s hard.. but God told me to trust Him, and so I followed.

Summer. Still there. Very appreciated J

I’ve been in Romblon for a month to be part of the immersion program of the UP Manila’s Pahinungod. Critical. I miss everyone. I miss everything in lb. I thought I will not survive the month but I did. Thank God and to my dearly friend. He never forgets to call whenever I feel alone in there. He’s really the man. Thank you. Thank you talaga.

And the immersion was over. We’ve met together with mau at SM Megamall. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being with them again. Being with my best friends. Thanks. I thought I’m gonna feel 15^th-16^th letter eh, pero hindi. It’s the opposite. J

First sem. :)

And this was the sem I was really afraid of. This was the sem of comparison. T_T

Every time I walked on the campus, I can see the old us. Sa mga buildings where we had our classes together… sa mga kinakainan namin. Sa mga nilalakaran namin. I cried again. I don’t know what and how to react but that was the reality. I forced myself to forget… to move on. The thing that I really miss is when it is night and school is over, he’s gonna call me para lang mang-asar. I also miss yung time na after our class sa gabi, I’ll be with him para samahan syang mag-dinner. Yung time na after my swimming class, he’s gonna call and ask kung nasaan ako kasi kakatapos lang ng IT class niya.. we will meet sa tapat ng physci and then magtatago siya sa may malaking tree dun sa tabi ng waited shed and laughing while kausap ako sa phone kasi hindi ko sya makita.. And syempre, I really miss those church nights namin were we both sing praises to God. Sa second row, left side center, 2 chairs sa isle-dun kami palagi naupo.

I thought everything is over but I was wronged again. He never forgets. He often calls me. We even have skype and facebook. I thought I can’t do this semester. Thank God. God is really faithful with His promises. You’ll just have to trust and have your faith on Him. God did not let the distance conquer our friendship. Instead, He used it to strengthen our trust with each other and ofcourse, to reveal Himself on us more. Everything really happens for a reason.

I asked God for something. I want to see this friend of mine again. To be with him again for one day. A day that we could walk, eat and worship together. I thought God doesn’t want it to happen because everytime we plan, it always turns to be on next time. What I did was to stick on God’s word:

Ecclesiastes 3:11 “… He has made everything beautiful in its time”

God has His perfect time. Until that time came last October 14, 2011.

Before the sembreak started, we’ve met again. (:DDDD) He toured me in UPD. I can’t explain how much happiness I had that time. We ate together, walked around the campus… and what really made me glad, we’ve sang praises to God together. Thank you. Thank you Mr. Clyde for not leaving this friendship of ours. You don’t know how much thankful I am to God that I’ve met you. You’ve been so special to me. You’re not just a simple classmate or friend of mine but a brother in faith, a bestfriend. Thank you for making me feels special too. Thank you for being with me always (but not literally. Hihi :> ). You’re an answered prayer from God. I am so blessed to meet you in this big UP. I never thought these things will happen but through this, I have actually seen God’s working hands in my life. Thank you for walking with me in faith. Thank you for pushing me towards God. Thank you for reminding who God is. Hindi ko na alam kung ano pang words yung sasabihin para magpasalamat. J Panget, hot, zac, sam, david A., director, producer, blueberry cheesecake man… Salamat ha. Hope you appreciate this note. I promised to myself kasi na one of these days I will make one for you. To show how much thankful I am. Salamat uleeeeyt :D

Lantern Parade? To be continued… ;)) 

Patience into life.

Monday, I'm still waiting

Tuesday, I'm still waiting to see, see... see if you are fine

Wednesday you are still not here,

neither in the morning, nor later,

Thursday is also empty,

Friday, Saturday or Sunday, none of the day that I don't miss you,

none of the day that you will come back,

to be in our old days,

the day that I met you,

The day that I was close to you,

the day that we held hands,

the day that I loved you,

the day that I spoke to you,

the day that you listened to me,

how long it will be like this?

I don't know how.

How many months or years?

How many billions of our past memory?

I never don't miss you..

--Crazy little thing called love.

True love can wait. :) if you are decisive to wait for something, go without expecting for any return. Learn to trust God for whatever plan He has :) He is sovereign, above master, the great, a friend and a father. He has His perfect will for his people. I know that God will not leave me alone, will not let me feel alone.. He wants His children to be happy. I love my God..

I am afraid of being alone. However, after I met God in my life, I am now secured that He will not leave me. Though some people will have to leave, I should just accept it. Still live life. Move on. Focus.

Always tell yourself with the words, “God has His plans.. Everything happens for a reason”.. Patience is a word after all. I should wait for God's timing.

And if I am equipped already with God's righteousness, it will all be given to me as long as it is according to His purpose. :) He will not let His children to be sad. And if your wants will not be given to you as what you wished, expect that God will give you better. :) He knows what is best. He knows what will really make us happy. (though it is sometimes hard to accept, we should ;) )

All I pray is that, God will lead me to the right path of life. All according to His will.. I am waiting for His surprises.. I am not that expecting for big things. I am just after simple things, simple life.

I love GOD. – He is forever true.

“Don't let me go.."

As the music keeps on playing, my tears suddenly fell down.. imagining the things that would surely happen after. It is so hard to think that someone has to leave after a year of happiness. Assuming is a thing. People should not assume for specific thing. There is no assurance for such thing.. I never thought that I'd hear such news, making me trembled, sad, worried.. I thought this would never happen, I thought he will be by my side, until the end of my college life. But it will never happen. I don't know how to react for this is the first time I had experienced such thing.

Leaving is a choice. Escaping is a decision.. Life is a combination of the two things.

All I can say is that, I am confused. I am afraid of the things that will happen next. How I wish this semester will not end. However, this dream will never happen.

--janica (09:05 pm. 03.21.11) -- wrote this before. (blog that is not yet been post)

Paper and Pen.

1 Peter 4:10-11
“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.” (NIV)

I don't know how much thankful I am to have this talent. Yes. It is God who gave this to me. I am really so blessed to have this and so, I'm gonna use this to advance His Kingdom. Let me tell my story before all these things happened..

I started writing when I was still in my elementary days. I started it on comics. Unfortunately, my mom didn't support me on that career. She told me to do other things rather than to write. For her, I think it is just a waste of time. However, I promised to myself that I won't stop. I will not. Ever.

And my high school days came. I pursue my writing career. I became a feature writer of our newspaper organization, secretary of the Girl Scout of the Philippines, and director in writing of the English Theater Arts Guild. It was really an achievement to be part of these. A fulfillment. It's really my passion who's working. 

I do really enjoy writing. I already wrote one story entitled "Tears behind my love". I thought it will be just an ordinary one that no one will ever appreciate. but I was wrong. My friends, classmates and even my family were so proud after they read it. Thank God. It was all Him who gives me strength to continue.

And now, with His grace I've joined a contest here in UP. I tried to write a script (see, from comics to novel then script). It was tough but I survived it. Thank God again. And for my surprise, it will be also mounted this December 7, 2011. 

I just can't imagine how much God helps me. He was really amazing to do that to me. After just submitting my script, smiling and ofcourse praying, everything follows was God's control. Now, I pray that whatever happens, I will still have the faith. This is just my first time and it is really an unexpected thing for a first timer. 

Everything is submitted to God. :) 

Thank God with this talent. Now, I'm planning to write another book. I hope everyone could read that.

To God be the glory! :D