Upon my walk on believing God,
there are revelations in my life that thirst for actions. With this short note,
I want to be honest not just to you, to myself but also to God. The things
written in here might not be visible in me (if you know me), but everything
will be honestly spoken to you. I know it is His will that I should share a
part of my testimony in life here.
Everyone
longs to be loved and feel special. As humans, we want things that will satisfy
our pleasures. I, on behalf of this human world, was one of those people who
longs for those pleasures. I want to be loved and treated as special. I don’t
want to mention a name but I actually had a close friend whom treated me those.
I feel loved and special with his surprises and encouragements. I admitted to
myself that eventually, I fell in love with this person. I was happy being with
him, talking about things that are similar on us.. everything. I feel loved and
special. Well, he is actually that type of man who will show how he cares and
respects women. I feel blessed to be one of those people whom he made close
with. There were times when he forgot things and promises but those were all
right. For me, I should not focus on mistakes but how to ponder the friendship
we have. I was the one who was happy after all. I almost forget God. And then
God interrupted. I consider this “interruption” as a blessing from heaven and
not a burden on heart that will cause me to rebel against His holy name. I know
God speaks to me saying that I should have self control over these worldly
pleasures I long for. Why? because He is the only one who can sustain love and
specialty I am aiming for a long time.
I
always pray for that person, even fast for an answer. I want him but I want God
more than him. So I said to myself, if the feeling is from God, then I am
claiming it, but if it is not, please take it away for I want my life to be a
model of worship to God. I don’t understand God with the things He have shown
in my life this past few days but I know, I believe that He is busy working on
me now.
I
don’t want to explain further of those things that hurt me but there is this
one thing I realized after, “don’t give up on God’s promises but be strong, and
courageous, trusting Him with all your life and most of all.. Choose Him above
all things. If he says stop, then don’t hesitate to stop and trust Him. If he
says wait, then patiently wait. If he says Go, then go not by your own but with
Him.” It’s hard to say goodbye for someone you have loved and given time but
how much more if you would lose SOMEONE who sacrificed His life for the sake of
His overflowing love for you? If God says so, then He’ll surely do it at its
time. He will never delay.
Are
you asking for the best decision in life? Well, for me, IT IS TO LIVE FOR GOD
AND NOT FOR YOURSELF. Be like Him, see to it that people would see Him on you.
Make God as your first and forever love. I am assuring you, He will not leave
you for His grace is sufficient and His love is overflowing. Love Him more. If
you are afraid to lose someone because of God, well don’t be. I have said it
before but trusted God and I am here now, encouraging people to not be afraid.
God is with you all the time, during your happiness, loneliness and struggles.
If that person you are asking from God cannot wait for you, you don’t deserve
him/her. If he/she does not understand that you love God more than him/her,
then end the discussion for you deserve someone who love God more than you and
understand things why things should happen like that. We are God’s princes and
princesses. Let’s look for someone of whom we would see Jesus. That’s what we
deserve. Think of this: Jesus did not die on the cross for you to receive small
and none sense blessings but to have unexplainable and super awesome one. He
died for you to receive more and the best. So don’t waste it. It’s a gift from
heaven. Love God and live life.
To
end this up, I know, that person I have loved would surely understand my
decision. We both love God more than anyone else. I will not end our friendship
but invest more on it. It is a blessing from heaven. I know God is in control.
His time is perfect than anyone else. We might not understand God today, but I
know, someday we will. I will always be
here, just like others with their friends, willing to laugh, cry, listen and
speak on his life. If he has the same feeling I had before, I am claiming from
God that He will not leave this man I’ve ever dreamed; Guide him on his walk on
faith; teach him on how to obey and to patiently wait; and to surround him with
people who will increase his faith and desire on God. Upon waiting on God, He
is building our character. I love him,
but I love God more.
